Carpe Diem

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, Here I am. Send me.”
Isaiah 6:8
(On the US Army Ranger website. www.ranger.org )

It was a dismal evening in southeastern Afghanistan. The April sun had long since disappeared leaving in its wake, dark mountains, long shadows and an uneasy calm. A unit from the 75th Regiment of the elite Army Rangers left the secure comfort of their base on what was reported as a routine combat patrol. Circa 7:30pm local time, near the village of Sperah, 40kms southwest of Khost, things went horribly wrong. The Rangers were ambushed by Afghan militia, most likely a renegade bunch of Al Queada and Taliban fighters. The ensuing battle was a rapid and bloody firefight in which two Rangers were injured and one man was killed. The engagement ended as quickly as it began when one of the militia was killed.

The story of the Ranger killed that April day is especially interesting; Specialist Pat Tillman was a star footballer, the No.40 jersey for the Arizona Cardinals. In 2001, after 4 seasons playing for the Cardinals, Tillman walked away from a fresh $3.6million contract and joined the army. Since the news of Tillman’s demise, mainstream media and the winding alleys of the Internet have been filled with a confusion of opinions. This war has caused deep divisions in public opinion. On the one hand, jingoistic eulogies portray Tillman, as a hero, a legend, a role model to be emulated. Others sickened by past experiences of false propaganda have taken a step back in silence. Then there are the confused like Rene Gonzalez who expressed his anti-war stance by trashing an extraordinary man. The gist of what Rene wrote in a college newspaper was that Tillman was a GI Joe, a “Rambo wannabe” who got what he deserved. Rene felt the wrath of a nation, his telephone number was published on the Internet, he was abused on several forums of public debate and finally issued an apology to the Tillman family.

What is the truth? Does Tillman’s story hold a message for us all or is he another paper tiger, a war-marketing tool invented by the powers that be? What would it take for someone to exchange a fat contract for an $18,000 army salary and the tough life. There are no easy answers, and definitely none from Tillman who declined to give any interviews immediately after he joined the army. This was a very personal journey. I do not follow the NFL, I hardly know the game, I have never seen Pat Tillman play; but Tillman was 27 when he died, not much younger than me, his life experiences though are infinitely greater.

My mate Jeff Burns said to me today, ‘It isn’t about how old I am anymore, as much as it is about another digit being added on’. As much of my generation motors surely towards mid-life, I find myself and others contemplating the same questions. Am I making any progress? Do I make a difference? Am I really living the way I would like to? If I died today what would be my epitaph? When I put Tillman’s life in the context of my own, I see strength and direction from what I would like to think is the way he lived and died.

Hit hard

A Sports Illustrated article on Tillman says that in college, as an all-Pac-10 linebacker Tillman always went at full speed. Tillman with helmet on and long mane flowing put the fear of God in his adversaries, he would hit with bone jarring focused intensity so much so that in practice coaches had to often slow him down so that he wouldn’t hurt anybody. Slowing down was hard for Tillman. In life too he seems to be a man who zoned in on a goal and then put his heart and soul into achieving it by hitting hard, bone jarringly hard. Pete Prisco of CBSSportsline.com sums him up quite aptly ‘The hair set him (Tillman) apart from everybody else on the big screen, but the reality is that Tillman set himself apart from everybody else with the way he lived.” Now, how is that for an epitaph?

Blueprint

I suspect Tillman’s decisions were not made on the spur of the moment he had a blueprint for his life, a broad-vision road map that gave him direction. Bruce Snyder, Tillman’s coach at Arizona State wanted to extend his eligibility by a season, which would also have required him to spend another year in college. Tillman told him “You can do whatever you want with me but in four years I am gone. I have got things to do with my life.” Just before he joined the army, he told reporters that after three years he would return to the NFL.

Back yourself

Those that knew him say that Tillman did not know the word FAIL and there is striking evidence that he backed himself against seemingly insurmountable odds to win every time. In college, Tillman landed the last remaining football scholarship at Arizona State, NFL.com says that his place at the end of the bench was where dreams go to expire. Written off as too small to play, he finished up four seasons later as Pac10 Conference defensive player of the year. In the NFL, Tillman was the 226th pick out of 241 for the Arizona Cardinals 1998 draft, five months later, a man who was called too slow to be a safety, was the Cardinals starting strong safety. The tough brawn was backed by intellect, Tillman graduated with a marketing degree and a 3.84 GPA.

Code

Tillman lived his life by a simple code; tales of honour and loyalty are numerous. He was loyal to his team, he spurned a $5 million contract to play for the St. Louis Rams and stayed with the Cardinals. He said that he joined the Army because of the catastrophe that rocked the world, 9/11. I know of idiots who have racked up debt and bought fancy cars in the name of that sad cliché, as if it gave them some license to stupidity. But Tillman though put his life on the line to defend what he believed in, in his words “because it is time to give something back”.

Carpe Diem

Life is a truly wonderful blank canvas, gifted to each of us by God to paint, as we desire. Thick brush strokes of bright colours, a dash of depth and ‘je ne sais quois’ or a dismal, shallow, no-effort, the choice is ours and only ours to make. Seize the day because nothing ventured is nothing gained. Tillman painted well, he tried just about every colour on the palette of life, he took up the triathlon and before the 2000 season, he ran a 70 mile marathon just to see what it was like. In living he has created a portrait for all to admire.

In regards to Rene Gonzalez and his ilk, I would like to pose the theory that Rene would not even have registered on Pat’s radar. Pat had more important things to do. He had a road to travel, a journey to complete.

For me Pat Tillman is about the simple things, eating less, running more; talking less, listening more; meeting more people; frowning less, laughing more; running the city to surf, living more; and borrowing a phrase used by Mark Latham on a youth gathering in Perth, bringing more ‘bling-bling’ in my life. (take that as you wish. But don’t laugh! This man, Latham, might very likely be the next prime minister of Australia)

Seriously though, do you have the spunk to do a little Pat Tillman? Think about it.